Ask the expert recap: a surrogate husband's perspective

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A few months ago we had Jonathan Compton, husband of @Laci Compton, share his surrogate husband's perspective in an Ask the Expert activity. (Check out this recent blog post detailing Laci's sibling journey!)


Q: Helping someone to achieve their dream of a family is profound and special. While there may have been days when you had to assist your wife with the administration of a medication that was part of the IVF protocol, or other days when the stage of pregnancy that she was in left her tired, uncomfortable or lacking the energy, were there chunks of time, whether big or small, when surrogacy and what your wife was pursuing didn't feel any different than another day in the life of being Laci's husband? I ask this question because I often wonder how many partners may have hesitation in supporting a journey for fear that the journey will have a significant impact on their life on a daily basis. - @Kristina F.

JC:  Hello Kristina, I totally agree in that surrogacy is such a unique and profound opportunity to serve another family. Although pregnancy has its ups and downs in any journey whether it is surrogacy or natural conception, it is an experience that I believe can bond the gestational carrier and their partner in a way that is a badge of honor between them as a couple. My wife and I have a connection that only a small percentage of people are a part of, and that is a point in which I can say motivated me to be a supportive partner in the surrogacy journey. It is something I look back on proudly in our being together that highlights and signifies my support and my partners heart toward others.


Q: Hi Jonathan! My husband has come around to the idea of me being a surrogate but I'm curious, what was the hardest part for you going through this journey and how did you overcome it? - @mckinzeymurphy

JC: Hi there! Thanks for your patience, that’s exciting that you are both on board to surrogacy. For me personally I should have done more research on supporting my wife in the in vitro fertilization portion of a surrogate pregnancy. Nothing that was alarming I just didn’t know much about it and I could have better helped support her in the early days of pregnancy. That and having to explain to others what surrogacy is and what we were doing got a little tiring, but always led to good conversations. Thanks for the question and please don’t hesitate if you have more questions.


Q: When your wife discussed surrogacy with you what were your immediate thoughts? How did you become educated about the process? and at what point did you become comfortable enough to move forward in supporting her? - @Krista G

JC:  Krista, so when we first started talking about surrogacy, I didn't know anything of it previous to it being brought up after we had our first child. My immediate thoughts were, okay it is a bit different than I had ever considered but I wanted to know more. The more we looked into things, I became interested in it, and honestly did not want to get in the way of my partner fulfilling the need to serve a family that needed the spark of a child in their lives. From my experience, I felt a bit uneasy at first, when considering factors, that might arise, during the interview process with Conceiveabilities my fears were gone due to knowing the structure of the organization and protection given on both the sides of the journey (gestational carrier/intended parents).